you aren’t a burden – back and making better progress

To summarise my prolonged post, here are the reasons why: end of year exams, a brief trip to the US, delivering speeches and conducting school events, finishing up the school year, building my life up to the future intention that I have. All I can say is, I apologise for the delayed consistency with updating my hopeful advice and food for thought.

Over the past few weeks, I guess I’ve been bombarded with so much in terms of responsibility and working with the different priorities that I have going on in life as it is right now. In all honesty, it was intense and draining in the sense of having really early mornings and late nights – putting that on repeat for three weeks straight. I’m just blessed that it is finally summer and I can somewhat take a bit of a break from the events that occurred. Although, there is still my intention (and I’m sure everyone else’s) to keep working even if it is summer, in this case hunting for universities as well as maintaining close bonds with the people that matter the most and keeping that working grind in place.

From all of the things that have happened over the past few weeks and months, I’ve barely had enough time to focus on my mental health and emotional wellbeing. I don’t mean to sound selfish, but at the same time I’ve realised that there has to be a balance in between attributes in what you do in life and you as an overall person. At the end of the day, the evaluation within your mind and body is what impacts your actions towards the commitments that you do have in life.

Now that I may not be as busy as I have been previously, it’s given me the time to really reflect and think. If you know me well, when I do get the time to think I will do nothing else but overthink everything and I mean everything. It’s like it’s a special talent that I’m not really proud to withhold, but it is what it is. All this thinking has made me realise that I’ve really been missing my dad more than I thought I would. It is overwhelming. It can feel like it’s out of my control to handle the emotions going on in my head. At the same time, I know that deep down it is normal for that to happen, especially now that we’ve just lost someone special again not that long ago.

One major thing that I have learned throughout the time I’ve been away and coming back is that you should never be afraid to speak out your feelings. *This has been a bad habit of mine: keeping my inner thoughts and emotions to myself, bottling them up and eventually breaking on the inside. I’ve always resulted to this kind of ‘solution’ due to me thinking that ‘I don’t want to bother anyone and I don’t want to be a burden or that girl’. Believe me when I say that breaking on the inside can reflect on the outside as well. There are so many individuals that I’ve come to develop a strong relationship with, due to finally being able to open up and taking the opportunity to actually release the emotions and thoughts in the format of a simple conversation. There are still the times when I do choose to keep quiet but I tend to limit myself on that purely for the benefit of keeping my emotional wellbeing and mental health in the healthiest shape possible. The reassurance that I received from the friends that I talk to is that the word ‘burden’ is taken out of the whole equation and how it is part of the relationship for them to be there whenever I need the help and advice – this is the same for everyone going through a hard time right now or in general. You’re only human at the end of the day and in that sense, you’d do the same to look out for the people you truly care about.

In short, everyone needs to remember what they are worth and the result of that can mean a lot to the individuals around them, even if it doesn’t show 24/7. Be healthy in all aspects of your life and take the opportunities to release which will benefit in the long run.

x

24|07|2019